Potter rejected my offer of friendship so I’ve decided he is now my arch-nemesis. I hate him. Why doesn’t he like me?
Second Year
I made Potter think I opened the chamber of secrets so he’d pay more attention to me. It hasn’t worked but Crabbe and Goyle have been acting strange lately.
Third Year
A hippogriff attacked me. Granger punched me. And Potter hit me with a patronus. My father will hear about this. How can Potter cast a patronus anyway? He must be really good at
Fourth Year
I think Potter liked the Potter Stinks badges. He’s probably going to ask me to the Yule ball.
.
.
.
He asked a girl.
Fifth Year
Potter didn’t seem impressed by my prefect status so I joined the Inquisitorial Squad as well. So far, no comment.
What’s so good about Cho Chang anyway?
Sixth Year
Ginny fucking Weasley. You’ve got to be kidding me. He’s supposed to be stalking me.
He’s supposed to have stopped me by now.
Seventh Year
I knew it was him. I knew.
I hope he wins.
I couldn’t tell him the truth, as much as I wanted to.
He saved me. He literally risked himself and came back for me and saved my life, saved me from dying.
I thought he was dead, and I died at that moment with him, until he wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking and found myself tossing him my wand, which ultimately killed Voldemort.
It’s over now. At least he’s safe. I hope he’s happy. I hope he’s thinking about me.
❤️
Three Years post war
Saw Potter for the first time since that handshake at the trials. It was remarkably easy to talk to him; all of that annoying kindness of his has remained, and is no longer annoying at all, somehow. His eyes are still so green He accepted my offer to take him to coffee and it was… Comfortable, almost. He invited me out for coffee again next week. We’ll see how far his kindness extends–and for how long, I suppose.
Four Years post war
Today marks a year since the first of my weekly coffee dates with Potter. And the start of drinks, and muggle films, and jokes, and friendship. And light touches on my arm that Who would have ever thought that was possible? Sometimes I wonder if
Four Years, five months post war
Potter kissed me. It was everything I had ever We’d been drinking. He’ll hopefully not be too angry with me tomorrow for kissing him back
Five Years post war
Potter is insisting on red and gold for the wedding. Can you imagine?
never really knew if i did something wrong all i ever heard was “it wasn’t my fault” but what good is truth if you don’t understand nothing but a pair of calloused hands?
I’ve spent years making post after post trying to pinpoint the exact thing that Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket) did differently than J.K. Rowling, which caused him to somehow turn Olaf into an amazing villain while Snape is still causing hatred and controversy in the fandom a decade later.
And after mentioning something in passing in another post, it suddenly hit me what that difference was.
J.K. Rowling approached her character with the mentality that a person can be redeemed if its revealed that they could have been a good person but circumstance and tragedy got in the way. She sees the fact that you could be forced into being a horrible person as a huge tragedy and tries to emphasize what could have been. She doesn’t just do it with Snape (Dumbledore’s another great contender) but Snape’s arguably her biggest victim when it comes to this. She shows you what his life was like and lets you know what could have been if only this had changed or that had changed. And she does so in a way that makes you feel sympathetic towards Snape, enough so that you’re supposed to totally agree with Harry when he names his child after him. Because sure he wasn’t that great but he could have been had the situation been different.
And Daniel Handler begins doing the same thing with Olaf. After books upon books of building him up to be this evil guy, he abruptly releases one of the most tragic backstories in villain history, making you realize that Olaf‘s life could have been a lot different had he not been forced into certain situations due to tragedy and circumstance. And like Rowling, Handler also presents this as something that’s tragic. But here’s where he differs.
Because Rowling’s stance is: “This character could have been this instead and can you imagine how wonderful that would have been, had it not been for these circumstances?”
Whereas Handler’s stance is, “Well yeah, this is what the character could have been but this is what he ended up becoming and like it or not, this is who he is and this is who he’ll be remembered for.”
Rowling wants you to know that doing horrible things doesn’t make you a horrible person because there could be a rhyme or reason to your actions. A solid grey morality.
Handler wants you to know that doing horrible things does make you a horrible person because no matter what the motif is, you’re still doing horrible things and will be remembered for said horrible things.
Which is infinitely more tragic, infinitely more morally ambiguous, and infinitely more interesting.
J.K. Rowling tried to redeem Snape.
But Handler? Handler managed to redeem Olaf and not redeem him at the same time. Handler made his backstory tragic and he showed the reader exactly how things could have ended up, causing you to sympathize with the villain. But he also showed the reader exactly how things did end up, reminding you that no matter what could have been, it’s not what happened; instead we have this evil man who has done horrible things that are far too heinous to take back, no matter how much he may want to.
And while Rowling and many other YA authors took the approach that it’s never too late to redeem yourself and become the good person you should have been all along, Handler straight up took the, “Nope, for some people it’s far too late and no matter how much they may want to redeem themselves, they never will and they’ll have to die knowing that they are hated.”
And I don’t care how much you love Harry Potter, Handler’s approach to this character and the overall bleak philosophy and moral implications is on a whole other level of writing! I think the only other piece of fiction I’ve ever seen that approaches this philosophy of un-redemption is Bojack Horseman and you can still argue that Handler does it better because he’s able to scale it down so that kids can understand it, even if they don’t want to.
And yet, at the end of the day, Handler’s entire philsophy of how you might not be able to redeem yourself can really be summarized in one gif:
I feel like this stems fundamentally from Handler’s Jewishness as opposed to Rownling’s Christianity. Christians believe we’re all sinners, but we can be saved at any time in life through Jesus (details vary by sect). On the other hand, Jews believe that there ARE things that cannot be forgiven, evil deeds that you cannot be redeemed from after they’ve happened…
Because forgiveness involves being forgiven, and you can’t forgive someone for murdering you (because you’re dead)
And Harry would’ve been
fine, would’ve gladly helped Draco to put their boxes filled with stuff they
didn’t really need but wanted to keep nonetheless inside any other room – the
attic, the scary basement, even the ‘sex bedroom’, as Draco had dubbed it when
they’d been looking around the house for the first time.
Anything, except the
fucking cupboard under the stairs.
As soon as he saw the
door he’d recoiled, hitting his head on the ceiling on his jump, whilst the
heavy box of old Potion journals of Draco hit the floor with a loud thud.
Everything inside Harry
screeched to a halt, as if he’d somehow jumped on the emergency break, and when
he’d moved away properly that he wasn’t able to touch the door, he just stared.
It’s just a door, he firmly reminded himself. It’s just a wooden door that leads to a
simple, small room that just happens to be underneath a set of stairs.
But he couldn’t
breathe.
It’s just a room, he thought, feeling as though
something was crawling from the inside of his stomach up in his body, making it
more and more difficult to focus on logical thought, but it’s a fucking cupboard.
Before he was able to
stop himself he let out a whimpering sound – almost a moan and a cry in one,
and it was loud, too, echoing through the small hall and up and up and up the
stairs and –
Slam. “Harry?” came Draco’s voice from upstairs. “You okay?”
He wanted to yell back,
but he couldn’t.
He wasn’t okay.
It was a cupboard under the stairs.
“Harry?” Draco repeated
once more.
When Harry didn’t
answer, Draco sighed, and he finally appeared on the top of the stairs. He just
looked down for a minute, staring at the box – the journals had slipped out
during their fall – and then at Harry, who kept staring at the door as if that
might set it on fire.
Then, as if someone had
flipped a switch, Draco came thundering down the stairs, jumped over the
journals, and wrapped Harry up in his arms.
It was only then that
Harry realized he’d been crying.
Because, as I remember, someone wanted a sequel?
Harry had never been the
kind of person to talk about his feelings.
How could Harry tell him, Draco,
who kept petting him and kissing him as he moved around Harry on the couch, Draco, who had
tucked him in a warm blanket and had promptly conjured hot tea for Harry to drink?
How could he tell him,
without breaking his heart?
Harry Potter had never
loved someone as much as he loved Draco.
And he had never loved
Draco so much as he did in this moment - his boyfriend keeping him close
beneath him, kissing every patch of skin he was able to find, caressing his
body as if it was something holy, something frail, something worth fighting for.